Pugs with Wolves – a best seller

Alright, so it’s not. Well, it might be if the book would not be comprised of 30-second sketches with uneducated, new, illiterate, abusive or downright clownesque characters. Time to share a few tidbits of fun and agony I have come across while pugging random classic dungeons on my little healadin:

Razorfen Downs – the neverending tank

Brushing through unending tangles of thorns, murderous pigs and heaps of mud, our tank pulled us through – literally. He did not speak, did not wait, did not buff, did not discuss tactics. He ran through all the mobs, kept aggro and pulled the next group right as the last mob died. When we got to the timed boss (an event following a captured mage leading to an altar) he started the event as the rest of the group came rushing into the room. Pigs spawned immediately. After three minutes of waves of adds, I was out of mana and people started to die. I bandaged who I could, then proceeded to be clobbered by a particularly vicious specimen of pigman.

The tank left the group straight after, leaving us stranded. The group disbanded minutes later, since two of them did not know how to get back to the instance and gave up.

Scarlet Monastery (Armory) – the wave of surprise

This run actually went very well; the paladin tank knew his taunts, kept aggro very well and managed to buff and pause regularly for mana. The fun happened when Herod was pulled. First off, no one moved away from Blades of Light (AoE is hard amirite?) making my job pretty tough. Our warlock was doing very good DPS, but was standing way out of healing range, on the stairs.

As Herod neared the 5% mark I rushed up the stairs (no one was likely to die)…only to see the warlock AoE-pull the wave of adds coming at Herod’s death, instead of jumping down to the tank. The warlock died quicker than I could cast a Flash of Light, with the tank rushing in just in time to pick up most of them.

The warlock was not too pleased with this, but it was the end of the instance anyway – lesson to the wise: always run to the tank, not out of the tank’s range.

Scarlet Monastery (Cathedral) – Lolwut?

The start of this instance was heralded with a Dwarf Paladin bearing a Night Elf Mohawk face – and seemingly unconcerned about this. “Is dis doo rait dungon?” he asked. “Well,” I said, “you queued for it, so you should now.” The reply “kk” instantly classified him as a Type-A genetic illiterate. “Hauw doo I make the thingies go away wen I sae Shit. Shit.”

Our hunter replied: “Are you serious? You are either stupid or need to go back to school.” The Paladin was not amazed by this attack: “Yeah.”

We proceeded to pull, and clear the instance mostly intact, with the Paladin doing a whopping 60 DPS at level 39. I envied his ability to stand around and pick his nose, as well as pick up friends to take home…I mean, aggro mobs. Either way, we weren’t planning to wait for a new member, so we kept him in.

Our tank had little experience, but managed to get the cornerpulls and addpulls down without a hitch, and we had the main hall cleared in minutes. Of course, the inevitable happened as the tank pulled Mograine with half the instance still alive. My slow-motion outburst of “Noooooo!” fell on deaf ears amid weapons clatter and adds coming from all sides.

Healing was light a freight train, and I was very happy to have invested in the Glyph of Holy Light to get some splash heals on the group as I kept the tank alive by the skin of his/my teeth. Somewhere, feebly in the corner, the word “Shit! Shit! Help!” echoed through the cathedral, as the aforementioned illiterate paladin ran out the cathedral, chased by a dozen mobs.

He died soon, out of line of sight of tank and healer, but buying us enough time to clear the rest. Thanks!

When the loot dropped I opened my Satchel of Helpful goods; Ah, a ring of the Bandit, how…useful. Of course, the newly rezzed paladin immediately wanted to buy it off me, taking precious years of my life away as I tried to explain him that this did not work, that I could not trade him.

I left that group feeling both sorry for the player’s ineptitude and somewhat pissed at his ability to grasp the basic concepts of the game/class: like Hand of Protection, using Blessings and Judgments, or that wanting Whitemane’s Hat is not a sign of being cool. Ah well.

So far for now, will add more to this post as the pain continues!

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2 Responses to “Pugs with Wolves – a best seller”

  1. According to Blog Azeroth it’s your birthday, so I wanted to wish you a happy birthday!

    • Thanks a lot! Had an awesome Wacom drawing pad (for when my draw-fu improves) and a 2 liter beer container, so I am all ready for any coming holidays! ^_^

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